People are More Important than Things

There are several mottos often repeated in the Shannon household. One of my favorites is "People are more important than things." Usually it's Ryan or I saying it in regards to someone's feelings, but on occasion the girls will remind us. For example, tonight Eliza said, "Mom, you make the best dinners. I just love your dinners...but not as much as I love you because you are more important than dinner." (Ahhhhh-Thanks to her dad for reminding her about how hard Mommy works and that saying "This dinner is disgusting!" hurts her feelings.)

Lately the girls, especially the toddler, have been testing my resolve to stick with this motto. You know, "put my money where my mouth is", "walk-the-walk", etc. You get the idea.

Here are just a few of the ways my beautiful bundles of joy have tested me over the past couple of weeks.

• Purple marker stain on the brand new quilt.
• Addy cut her hair. I naively thought that we might escape the toddler years without a "haircutting" situation with this girl...but alas, the temptation of the scissors was just too much. She had locked herself in her room to do the deed. I knocked on the door and she casually said, "Minute, Mom." Then she opened it as if nothing had happened. I didn't see any evidence at first. But when I went to brush her hair, tons of clump started coming out. That's when she fessed-up. 

The evidence.

Before the hair-cut.

After the haircut.

• Eliza tried pouring herself some juice from a nearly full bottle. In her words, "Don't worry Mom. I got it taken care of. I had a little accident." Telling me this story with both her hands up, suggesting I just stay right where I am, raised my suspicions. My Mommy sense didn't fail me as I walked into the kitchen to see an entire bottle of juice covering the counters and floor. She concluded with an anecdotal, "The good news is that I ACTUALLY got some in the cup!"

This is the cup. It's hard to see, but there is about 1/2" of juice in there.

• Addy found Mommy's make-up. It appears as though she really enjoyed cleaning the waterproof mascara brush off and that sisters' carpet was the perfect way to accomplish the task.

• While making dinner, the girls were playing in the cupboards. I didn't realize that during that time Addy had taken the cotton candy machine into her room. My vegetable chopping trance was suddenly broken when I heard Eliza say, "Mom! You have to go see Addy! She is in really big trouble." Thinking she was in danger, I ran back to her room and found her face-down, licking the cotton candy sugar from her carpet. Mmm. Mmm. What a snack.

I have to be honest. I hesitate blogging about this. Some people might read this and think, "What kind of parent are you?" 

"Do you think this is funny?"

"Why don't you supervise your children a little more? They clearly need it!"

"Do you just let your kids do whatever they want?"

I would be lying if I said that those same thoughts haven't crossed my mind. But as I sit here in the quiet of the night, shaking my head at the messes and mischief, my heart is full. I hope that I never come across as complaining or overly dramatic when it comes to my every day "motherhood" experiences. I choose to record them because I know that these moments won't last forever. These are the moments of this season of my life as a young-ish mother with a super hardworking/busy husband. It's not always pretty, and it's not neat and tidy. It's stained and scraped and well-used, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Here are the lessons I've learned.

• Addy is getting more independent every day. She is growing up!
• We could do with a little less juice in our lives.
• Seeing carpet that looks like a unicorn threw up on it reminds me of my proud, independent, blue-faced girl (and her big sister who no doubt got in on the licking up action).
• A little purple stain on my quilt is worth the belly laughs while Face-timing Valentine's Day puns with Grandma and the Utah aunts.
• Hair is just hair and can always grow back.
• My carpet cleaner is THE best investment we've made this year.
• These people, MY people, are absolutely more important than the "things" in life. Thank you girls for helping me practice this principle every day.

Eliza is 5!

I know it's way past her birthday. She's been five for a while now. But I thought I would take a few minutes to record some of Liza Lu's favorite things, as well as some of our favorite things about her.

Eliza's Favorite...

Color- YELLOW!

Number- 10

Letter- L and R

Dinner- Anything Mom makes

Snack- All of them (especially chips and crackers)

Treat- Anything with chocolate or sugar

Place- Everywhere

Day of the Week- Saturday

Holiday- Christmas

Book- The books Ms. B. (her preschool teacher) gives her to read and the books she can read herself

T.V. Show- Lion Guard

Animal- Yellow horse with a bright yellow tail

Shoes- Pink Cowboy Boots

Outfit- Skirts and dresses

If she could go anywhere in the world, she would go to the "Pride Lands".

When she grows up, she wants to be a Horse Rider, Doctor, and Traveler discovering things that are really true (from books/movies), but not on Saturday because that's  her day off.

Some of Our Favorite Things about Eliza...

• Her giggle- When I say that she can light up a room, I mean it. She can turn any grumpy moment into a happy one...if she chooses.
• Her passion- Whether it's the color yellow, her family, or her electronic time, this girls really cares about the things that are important to her. She always has. 
• Confidence- She truly believes that she can do anything. I hope that never changes.
• Beauty- She has the most remarkable eyes, slightly turned up on the outer edges, long-dark eye lashes, and ocean blue, surrounded by the tiny light-brown freckles on her nose. I could stare at that face all day. She also has the most sincere heart. Maybe it's why she is so passionate. I often find myself impressed by how much she can love.
• Mind- She is inquisitive and takes the time to figure out how things are related to one another. She often makes connections while we read stories and scriptures that surprise me. She also has an incredible memory! She reminds me of things that happened years ago. I didn't know a person could remember so far back.
• Honesty- A noble trait. She is naturally a truth-teller...except when it comes to sneaking treats from the pantry...we are working on that.
• The way she talks- She has the slightest lisp from her underbite. It is completely adorable. I absolutely love listening to her. She uses so much expression in her voice and shows just as much in her face. Lately my favorite has been when she's made a mistake or had an accident. She very quickly explains what happened, then slowly puts her head down in shame and says, "I'm soooooorry." Then she will usually finish with a positive and upbeat, "But the good news is..." And then she flashes that million-dollar smile. I mean, HOW could you stay mad at that? 

Milly's 5th Birthday-day

It all started two days before her birthday. For weeks Milly had been talking about wanting to get beignet's for her special birthday breakfast. Normally I wouldn't consider going out to eat for her birthday breakfast, but it turned out that there was another little boy in her class who had the exact same birthday and his mom had requested that he be the ONLY one to do this special birthday treat that day. So, Milly got bumped and we did hers the day before. Ryan was SO mad about it. I was a little bugged too. I mean, they are in preschool! C'mon lady! Anyway...Milly did her special treat (a donut cake) the day before and so she got to wear her birthday crown and get sung to two days in a row.

Long-story-short: That is why I told her we could go out for her birthday, so she didn't have to be there for Harrison's birthday snack-thing. I logged onto facebook that afternoon, and BAM! Angelette's Kitchen (our favorite place in Tallahassee to get fresh beignets) was closed. They had just had their last day...like...forever!

I broke the news to Milly. She was disappointed, but she understood. She opted for those "tortilla-fruit things" (crepes).

When Milly woke up, we had the kitchen all decorated with balloons and streamers. We also had her "new" (used) bike all set up. That was the only present we had for her, and then she had a few to open from Grandma and Grandpa. While she seemed happy about her new bike, it didn't take her too long before she saw the scratches and marks on the seat and handlebars. She asked if the bike had belonged to someone else or if it was hers. After we explained, I could tell that she was a little let down.

I decided that after school I would pick her up and take her to the mall for lunch and to pick out a special pair of earrings since she could finally change her originals from when she had her ears pierced in November. I was so excited to surprise her!

We decided to go to the old Tallahassee Mall since it was closest and the girls had gymnastics a couple of hours later. Well, it turned out that the dilapidated structure was in the process of closing EVERY store. There was not one place open that sold earrings. To help distract from the disappointment, we stopped by Cold Stone. The girls had never been to an ice-cream place like that before and seemed excited about it. (Finally, a win!) Eliza had eaten her whole cup within five minutes. Milly, who was trying to savor every bite ended up dropping her ice cream on the floor as we walked to the food court. She was devastated. I tried to console her, but when she said, "Mom, everything just seems to be going wrong today." I couldn't disagree with her.

We ended up eating a fast lunch from Subway, where she spilled her chocolate milk, and then went to gymnastics. We were late.

Well, the morning started off well enough. She was excited for her special day. She ran out to the kitchen where she found her one birthday present. It was a new (big-kid) bike! She was a little confused at first because she hadn't asked for a bike. But she seemed happy enough. Then she looked a little closer. She noticed that there were scratches on the metal, the seat was torn, and the tires were dirt-stained. She asked if it was a new bike. I said, "Well, it's new for you!" But she knew the truth. I had bought it second hand several months ago. She said thank you and then asked if that was all. I told her yes. And then she went to get dressed.

Well...talk about anti-climactic. Few things hurt like knowing that you've disappointed your child, and instead of throwing a fit, they just look at you and then walk away.

Ugh! It's getting a lot harder to pull off consignment/second-hand gifts these days.

Things started to feel a little better once she had her crepe. But when it was time to leave for school nobody could find their shoes. Addy was crying, the stress was mounting, and I cracked! Not a great way to start the day. (Let me tell ya, I was not feeling like the awesome mom that I had imagined myself being that day.)

After I dropped her off at preschool I took my other two barefoot-pj wearing daughters and we went to the dollar store and another place to look for a gift for Milly. I wasn't going to give up! After all, I had only spent $12 on the girl, what's another $10? (Not to say that birthdays are all about the gifts...but I wanted her to be able to open up something).

Success! We found a little stuffed puppy and a do-it-yourself wind chime kit. We finished up just in time to pick up Milly from school.

On the way to school I thought, "Hey! I'm going to surprise her and take the girls to the mall across the street and let Milly get a new pair of earrings and maybe have lunch in the food court."

I couldn't wait to tell Milly the plan and when I did she was SO excited!! Well, we got to the mall. We walked to Claire's. The lights were off. The door had a sign that read, "This location is now closed. Please come visit us at Governor's Square Mall." Disappointed again!

We walked through the mall to see if any other store sold earrings (it's ghetto...like there's a movie theater and the rest of the stores are for "urban" people). No luck.

Well, I thought, there is a Cold Stone! I will let the girls get ice cream. They've never been to an ice cream place like that before. After sampling all of the flavors, they made their final selections. Things seemed to be looking up for the birthday girl once again! We were running out of time and had to grab a bite to eat before gymnastics, so we decided to get our ice cream to go and walk to the food court.

Eliza just couldn't wait. She had to eat and walk at the same time, but patient Milly wanted to sit down so she could enjoy the whole experience. When we got to the food court, Eliza went ahead to find a table. I turned around to look for Milly. That's when I saw her, head down, arms by her side. She slowly looked up at me with a tear rolling down her cheek. She had dropped her entire cup of ice cream and it splattered all over the hard tile floor.

"WHY?" she asked. "Why does this bad stuff keep happening to me. It's my birthday, but nothing is going right."

Remember that feeling I told you about? The one when you know your child is disappointed? Well, it's even worse when there is NOTHING you can do about it.

I didn't have an answer. I couldn't fix it for her. I couldn't change what had already happened. It was out of my control. BUT, I could hold her. And that's exactly what I did. I held her and hugged her and made sure that she knew that she was loved and she wasn't alone.

The rest of the day was full of ups and downs. We had Subway for lunch! She was late for gymnastics....(and she cried)...She got to practice on her new bike!....She fell off of her bike...(and cried again)...She got to decorate her cake! She got to Skype with all of her grandparents when she blew out her candles! She got to have her favorite dinner, chicken pot pie!

By the end of the night she said, "This was the best birthday! Even though there were a lot of hard parts. But it was still the best because it was a family day!"

As I look back on this day, it seems so reflective of our life here on Earth and our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Trials will come our way, despite our best efforts and good intentions. There will be times that even He will want to cry with us or for us. While He can't control everything (we all have our agency), He will never leave us alone. He will hold us in His arms and even carry us through if needs be. I pray that when all is said and done, we will all be able to say, "That was the best. Even though there were hard parts, it was still the best because we were with our family."

Thanksgiving 2012 (Throwback)

Thanksgiving. Thank-goodness I don't have to go through that again. I honestly don't remember much about that day. I had already been very sick for a couple of weeks leading up to the holiday and didn't do much if any preparation before hand. All I can say is that I was so grateful on this day for good friends who made most of the feast and played host. I did somehow manage to mash some potatoes, slap together a green bean casserole and raspberry pretzel salad. It was truly a Thanksgiving miracle. We made it through the day. The kids and Ryan seemed to be satisfied, and I didn't throw-up. The rest of the "holiday season" was a blur. I spent it all on the couch or in my bed. Poor family. I'm just grateful that the girls are young enough that they won't remember how horrible it all was, and *Ryan was busy enough with finals that he probably won't remember much of it either.

On the day after Thanksgiving, Ryan took the girls to the local WalMart on Appalachee Parkway to grab a box of diapers. As they were leaving the store he noticed a group of people gathered in the crosswalk. Two people were fighting. Then he saw a gun. He was close enough to see that it was a Glock. He immediately took the girls out of the cart and ran around the corner of the building and behind a semi-truck. Then he heard the shots, the screaming, and did all he could to console the girls, especially Milly. I have no doubt that they were in the Lord's hands that day and that there were angels present to protect our little family. **Thankfully Milly and Eliza haven't shown any signs of trauma or anxiety as a result. Ryan and I have since applied for our concealed carry permits. It's a scary world we live in. It is horrible to think that someone would choose a gun as a way to "solve" a disagreement regarding a parking place at WalMart. Who does that? Needless to say, we held each other extra tight that night.

*Oh...he remembers...that was one of the reasons why he was so nervous when I told him I was pregnant with Benji, during his intern year of residency. Talk about loading on the "hard" stuff this year (on top of moving, financial stresses, sending our dog to live with KayDee and Pat, dad's cancer, etc.)

**It turned out that the shooting effected the girls more than we realized at the time. Milly has especially struggled with anxiety related to shopping, busy parking lots, and men that she doesn't know. This past Christmas season I was finishing some shopping when I heard some people arguing in the parking stall across from mine. I quickly got in the van and drove away, my heart pounding. It's sad that I was seriously worried that the argument would result in a shooting. That shouldn't be normal. Since we've moved away from Tallahassee and are in a much safer neighborhood/part of town, we all seem more comfortable. Even when there was a lock-down at the elementary school because of a domestic shooting nearby, Milly seemed to do handle it with a calm courage. I was so proud of her and very grateful for the local law enforcement who showed up to the school in droves to keep the kids safe.